lessons from the little match girl, part 1
“every woman is entitled to an alleluia chorus.”
i’ve been slowly reading women who run with the wolves, by dr. clarissa pinkola estés, which includes a chapter on “nourishing the creative life.” in this chapter, the story of “the little match girl” caught my attention, mainly because i jokingly reference this character often and relate to the idea i had of her in my head. (that being: i am a fairly broke artist living in a teeny, drafty cottage and tend to dress very “english pauper”-like – lots of wool and holey hand-me-downs.) however, i now understand i exist far from the little match girl’s reality. the truth is, she was homeless, totally impoverished, and starving. my life might be modest, but i have much to be grateful for, including the privilege of having family and friends who would help if i ever got into a dire situation.
to summarize the story (although i recommend picking up a copy of wwrwtw and absorbing the. whole. thing.), it is about a young, parent-less girl who lives in the forest. she frequents a nearby village to buy matches for a half-penny and sell them for a full penny. winter comes and she struggles to sell matches to feed herself and stay warm. she decides to use the matches for herself, despite the fact that she doesn’t have wood or kindling to light a fire. she goes through match after match, just to experience a moment of fleeting warmth. each match she ignites allows her to escape into a fantasy of being in a cozy house with all the creature comforts. she keeps lighting up, trying to keep the dream alive, until eventually she runs out of matches and dies in the cold.
grim, but there are valuable lessons and symbols in the story that dr. estés analyzes in wwrwtw. specifically, there were two points that resonated deeply with me. this is part one; part two will come next week!
part one : find nurturing environments for your inner artist
dr. estés explains that the little match girl is in an environment where people do not care. she states, bluntly, “if you are in one of these, get out… anyone who does not support your art, your life, is not worth your time.”
i love this line, “every woman is entitled to an alleluia chorus.”
dr. estés mentions that instead of changing her location, the little match girl kept going back to the same town where no one cared or supported her.
it’s not only that a nurturing community is important, but we are also to proactively turn away from situations where we are not seen or appreciated. i started wondering,
where in my life currently does it feel like i am trying to make people love and nurture me and my art?
where do i feel unseen for what i bring to the table?
where or with whom in my life does it feel like i’m trying really hard to get them to see/understand/love me and my creative spirit?
one easy answer for me, as trite as it may sound, is instagram (and many social media in general). it isn’t about the people on instagram, but rather, the app itself and its:
capitalistic demand for exhausting, near-constant content creation/sharing in order to be seen by our own supporters/followers
changing algorithms that never let us rest
silencing of people who do not want to play into trends
disregard for the humanity and health of its users
we all know the list could go on. for quite a while, and for many of us, instagram has been a place of creative connection and inspiration. it has been a way for our work to reach people – followers and new folks alike. for many artists, it was a foundational pillar of our careers. for a while, it fed us. we made friendships and found resonance in the digital-scape. now, for myself and others i know, it’s not only flat-lined but become a net-negative force to our practices and lives.
i have to wonder, what will we do now? will we continue to show up to the same place, a place that doesn’t care about our creative or personal well-being, or will we move somewhere our work will be treated sacredly, as it deserves?
there are people, places, and platforms that want to nurture your craft. who will believe in you. who will care for you and your work. some of these places already exist, and there’s always a need for us to create more. it’s in our hands.
this brings to mind a genuine nurturer in my community, tiffany crowder. she’s the founder of the art collective where i currently have a studio space, the crowd collective. she’s crafted a haven for artists to commune, work, and show. becoming involved in this community has made me realize how much it truly is up to us. tiffany was not working for a fancy gallery or museum that helped create “the crowd.” she saw a need, had an idea, and made it real. these grassroots communities and efforts are where significant, authentic change and support happens.
it’s not only happening in real life. i can think of numerous online spaces that are also becoming sources of nurture to me and other artists:
substack (i’ve found the community on here to be so engaged and lovely!)
one-on-one conversations with other artists over voice notes
online critique/peer groups
in all of these places i find nurture for my creative spirit.
dr. estés explains that nurture does not mean comfort. to nurture is to aid a person by encouraging growth and movement. nurturers do not just provide soothing words; they speak truth, encourage, and help shift whatever is ailing you. to comfort is passive. to nurture is active.
and so, i am not just pushing back on all that is toxic to my creative energy. i am actively moving toward the places and people who do the opposite – who nurture it.
i’m genuinely curious.
in what, who, and where do you find nurture right now?
where are you finding resonance these days?
what direction is the river flowing? how can you let go and flow downstream?
there will be a part two to the little match girl lessons, which will be coming as a special bonus article next weekend before taking some time off for the solstice/holidays. please feel free to share any of your own reflections and ideas in the comments. i would love to hear what comes up for you.
see you next week!
Feeling a similar shift away from the instagram platform! Thanks for naming that